Joey’s TLC 2014 Predictions

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December 14, 2014 by Joey Keogh


It’s the moment nobody has been waiting for, TLC is finally upon us and, after weeks of okay build-up, all that’s left is for the final PPV of the year to take its spot on the sofa, sink in to the cushions, undo its belt, pop open a caffeinated beverage and try not to nod off for four hours. Here are my totally prejudiced predictions for tonight:

skully skull - Copy - CopyTag Team Match: The New Day -v- Goldust & Stardust
This match doesn’t really do anything for me. The New Day have, thus far, emerged with more of a whimper than a bang and this just screams filler. It may even be scheduled for the pre-show, which would make sense because honestly who is excited for this? We have no reason to care because nothing has happened yet! The art freaks deserve better, it feels as though they only had the belts for about ten seconds and, really, considering the state the tag team division is in right now, they should either be in the running for the championship again or not featured at all.
Predicted winners: Goldust & Stardust (just cos)

skully skull - Copy - CopyChairs Match: Ryback -v- Kane
Ryback is, allegedly, one of the most dangerous men on the current roster, so giving him a load of chairs with which to beat poor Kane seems a bit risky. Why did these two even start feuding? Was it simply because The Big Guy made fun of Kane when he was director of concessions? I’ve a feeling this match is going to be quite painful to watch (and participate in) and it doesn’t have any bearing on any of the story-lines currently in rotation so the only worry is that Ryback will murder Kane in the ring, which will do wonders for viewing figures.
Predicted winner: Kane (unless he’s murdered)

skully skull - Copy - CopyTag Team Championship Match: The Miz & Damien Mizdow -v- The Usos
I cannot say enough good things about Mizdow. He is truly the gift that keeps on giving, and his pairing up with the otherwise intolerable Miz was a stroke of genius. There have been sly hints lately that he may be preparing to step out of his boss’s shadow, but hopefully that isn’t the case as the WWE would be a far darker place without Mizdow. As for The Usos, well, the high school jocks who never grew up will most likely put on their usual show tonight. It’s just a shame we’ve all grown so tired of watching it. Time for a shake-up in this rubbish division, I reckon, but until The Ascension show up, Miz and Mizdow need to win this.
Predicted winners: The Miz & Damien Mizdow (never forget)

skully skull - Copy - CopyStairs Match: Erick Rowan -v- Big Show
Considering Rowan and his ex-team mate Luke Harper have been teasing a feud lately, it’s strange that they’re fighting separately tonight. It’s also strange that Rowan and Show were considered the two best people to take part in the first ever stairs match. This is probably going to suck, simply because of that stupid add-on, and it would probably work better as just a regular ol’ match of strength and wills but Rowan can more than hold his own in the ring and Show, who has been dragging his heels lately, should take the heat so it might be decent. Maybe.
Predicted winner: Erick Rowan (bullies can’t win)


skully skull - Copy - CopyIntercontintental Championship Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler -v- Luke Harper
Ziggler is everyone’s favourite guy at the moment, so it’s great to see him get a PPV slot for once – and a title shot too, for good measure! Harper is surprisingly dynamic in the ring, and it may seem like an odd match-up but these two could provide some of the coolest spots of the night, in spite of the fact they’ll have to grapple with a load of ladders in the process. Hopefully, this develops into a proper, layered feud once Ziggler has won the belt because they both deserve a push at this stage and could work really well together, if given the opportunity.
Predicted winner: Dolph Ziggler (otherwise we quit)

skully skull - Copy - CopyUS Championship Match: Rusev -v- Jack Swagger
We’ve seen this match a thousand times over, so there’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been complained about at length. There is no reason for this, other than that WWE have no idea what to do with Rusev. He’s probably not going to lose tonight, even though he really should because this whole “he’ll NEVER tap!” idea is getting a bit stale and nonsensical.
Predicted winner: Rusev (snoooooore)

skully skull - Copy - CopyDivas Championship Match: AJ Lee -v- Nikki Bella
Rumours abound that AJ is out of here after TLC, and if she does leave, we’re all fucked because she and Paige are propping the Divas division up right now, in more ways than we can even imagine. I’ve been impressed with Nikki’s growth over the past few weeks. She still isn’t quite on AJ’s level yet, but she’s getting there. The less said about her waste of space sister, the better, but since she’s going to be hanging out ringside, this probably isn’t going to be a clean win for Nikki.
Predicted winner: Nikki Bella (unless Brie steals her spot)

skully skull - Copy - CopyTables Match: John Cena -v- Seth Rollins
This is clearly the Main Event, even though it shouldn’t be (that honour should go to the Ambrose/Wyatt match) because, although both of these guys are great, their feud has become inescapably repetitive and no amount of tables or outside interference is going to change that. What’s needed here is for Cena to take a back seat, as he did for HIAC, and allow the younger guys a shot at headlining the show. Either way, he needs to lose tonight, because nobody wants to see him go up against Lesnar again. Reigns may show up to intervene, but chances are that’s about as exciting as this match is going to get.
Predicted winner: Seth Rollins (with outside interference)

skully skull - Copy - CopyTLC Match: Dean Ambrose -v- Bray Wyatt
The REAL Main Event will be this TLC match featuring Ambrose and Wyatt, two of the most exciting and enigmatic presences on the current roster, both of whom are willing to put in the time to create lasting characters along with kicking the living shit out of each other in the ring. The Ziggler/Harper match should be great, too, but this will be the highlight of the night, whether it comes second or second last. At first, I thought their feud was a bit forced, but it’s consistently been the most interesting element to each Raw show and both of these guys are seriously gifted, both in the ring and on the mic (Wyatt even writes his own stuff, and it shows), so there’s no reason why they shouldn’t bring the house down tonight. I don’t even mind which of them wins, because either way there should be more to come, and that’s worth fighting for.
Predicted winner: Dean Ambrose (although Wyatt deserves a PPV win for once)

Catch TLC tonight on the WWE Network at 8PM ET / 5PM PT

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