February 22, 2015 by Joey Keogh
Sadly, there will be no Elimination Chamber this year because, apparently, the structure itself is too tall for most venues. Instead, tonight we’ll be taking a trip on the Fast Lane (or WWE FastLane to be more accurate, but writing it that way makes my brain explode) for the very first time with matches starring current fave (snort) Roman Reigns, the Bella twins for whatever reason and even a brother versus brother match in the form of Goldust v Stardust. The stage is set, the build-up has been, er, okay I guess, and now all that’s left to wonder is whether it will be a night to remember or a nonsense PPV best forgotten?
US Championship Match: Rusev -v- John Cena
There’s only one possible outcome here that could satisfy us: Cena getting his ass handed to him. Rusev has been sold for months as the unbeatable, unpinnable, unstoppable champion of champions so to have Cena come in and take the title from him would render all of that work totally redundant – there’d also be nowhere left for him to go, either. Reigns is the most hated man in WWE right now, which should give Cena some respite, but he still shouldn’t win this. If he does, it’ll leave most of us not just pissed off but questioning the sanity of the powers that be.
Predicted Winner: Rusev
Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella -v- Paige
In fairness to poor Nikki, she isn’t half as useless in the ring, or on the mic, as her insufferable sister, who recently complained to anyone who would listen about how unfair it is that the NXT women’s division get longer matches than the main roster even though, you know, they’re still learning (they are also much better and their story-lines typically don’t revolve around a reality show). Nikki is no match for Paige, though, and given how short Divas matches tend to be, this should be an easy enough victory for her. This has been a nothing feud thus far, even with Nikki improving as she has been, and AJ’s presence is sorely lacking. Until her return, let’s leave Paige to decimate the rest of the roster.
Predicted Winner: Paige
Wrestlemania Match: Roman Reigns -v- Daniel Bryan
This is kind of a last minute thing, so one could be forgiven for being slightly confused by the choice of match-up here. The reaction to Reigns’s win at the Royal Rumble bordered on world-ending, with some fans even calling for refunds, but the real sting in the tail was how easily Bryan got chucked out in that very same match. If nothing else, this will give him some opportunity to get his own back while simultaneously proving he shouldn’t have been stripped of the title last year (because that’s a thing again). However, one of these lads needs to turn heel or the ending, whichever way it goes, is going to be a bit dull.
Predicted Winner: Roman Reigns
Intercontinental Championship Match: Bad News Barrett -v- Dean Ambrose
Without a shadow of a doubt, this should be the match of the night and it’s easily my most-anticipated. It features two of the hottest and most exciting talents on the current roster and, even though the build-up for it hasn’t really been the best – why does Ambrose suddenly want this title? Why has he forgotten about his feud with Rollins? Where is all this going? – it doesn’t really matter too much because these two are going to kill each other in the ring tonight and just watching them work will be enough. Either outcome would satisfy me personally, but considering Reigns and Ambrose might be teaming up against Rollins at WM, it would be cool to see all three of them win separately tonight.
Predicted Winner: Dean Ambrose
Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos -v- Tyson Kidd & Cesaro
The tag team division is in a right state at the moment, with constant champs The Usos stealing the belts over and over, for no apparent reason other than there’s nobody else to take them from them. The Ascension were moved up, it seems, purely for squash matches and to fight old-timers, so their lack of representation at the PPV makes total sense, even if it’s still a waste. Kidd/Cesaro are a great team, and they’ve already shown what they can do in the ring. If they take the victory, and the championship, tonight then it could kick-start a new era of tag team matches we actually care about. Or maybe The Usos will retain and it’ll continue to be all be about Total Divas shit.
Predicted Winners: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro
Goldust -v- Stardust
According to well-placed sources within the WWE, the two Rhodes brothers have been pushing for a feud for years and are only now getting their wish. Unfortunately, they haven’t had quite enough TV time for us to really be invested in this, but regardless both are great and this could lead to better things, especially if they’re going to reconcile and tag again at a later stage. It’s difficult to say who’s going to come out on top tonight, as it really could go either way. But given how Stardust has been running his mouth lately, I could see him getting the win here and devastating his family in the process.
Predicted Winner: Stardust
6-man Tag Team Match: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback -v- Seth Rollins, Kane & Big Show
What a mess of a match-up – it just screams “throw everyone in and see what happens”. Kane and Show have been forced upon us for weeks and now we have to suffer the indignity of yet another bout with them against four hot, young, hungry (particularly in Ryback‘s case) talents who would’ve been better off in a fatal fourway together or some shit. Seriously, this is lazy booking that does a disservice to those involved, particularly the incendiary Rollins and fan favourite Ziggler. The best we can hope for here is that their talents are given the space to shine through and we can all move on once it’s over.
Predicted Winners: Rollins, Kane & Show
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